Depending
on the issue for which you are seeking help, you can expect
three basic things: a corrective relationship; a place to explore and
repair your relationship to yourself (and others), and new skills,
experiences, and understandings of what is making life difficult for
you. A corrective relationship shows you that you can be heard,
respected, understood and appreciated for who you truly are. You are
not exploited, harmed, or forced to do what you don't want to. You
enter into the relationship of your own free will and agree to its
terms and conditions. By allowing you the space and time to
understand how you've reached this point in your life, you have the
chance to do something different to make your life better. You can
start to see patterns and make different choices. New skills and
experiences happen when I educate you about what I see happening, and
you start to apply what you've discovered in the "real world".
Sometimes we need to learn that we did not cause bad things to happen
to us or that we don't deserve to be mistreated; sometimes we need to
learn that we don't have the right to hurt others as well. New
understandings come when you have a different perspective of the
problem presented to you, and you internalize and integrate that into
your perspective.
Q:
What
are the terms and conditions of therapy?
A:
Generally,
when an adult individual or couples enter therapy, they agree that they
accept the risks of therapy as well as the
risks (such as, that therapy can stir up strong emotions, which could
be painful in the short term but beneficial over the long
haul, because they are facing issues instead of burying them). They
agree to attend regularly and to do their best to participate
in therapy. In a couple, they agree not to keep secrets between one
member and the therapist, because that can be damaging to
the relationships between the partners and the partners and therapist
as well. They agree to pay for missed sessions if they do not give 24
hours notice,
barring medical emergencies, that they will pay for sessions if their
insurance coverage fails, and that they will notify me
with any changes to their address or contact information. If I am
seeing a child or teenager, the basic rules are the same
except there is more interaction with the parents and other care
providers, in most cases, so that I can get a broader perspective
of what the young person is going through. I share general information
with parents and notify them of any life-threatening activity,
like cutting, chemical dependency, or suicidal ideation. However,
children and teens, like adults, need a private space to air their
feelings, so I provide that to them to the extent that I can ethically
and legally do that. If you would like to read the office
policies and consent for treatment before you make an appointment, call
me and I will be happy to send you copies in the mail or over email.
Q:
How
long do sessions last?
A:
For
traditional talk and play therapy, sessions last 50 minutes. For EMDR I
recommend 80 minute sessions so we can make sure to get rid of most of
the distress within the session time and help you feel OK
afterward to go
back in the world. If you have further questions I am happy to answer.
Q:
How
long do I need to attend therapy?
A:
Treatment
length depends on many factors, including whether you are
using insurance to pay
for the sessions (quite often there is a limited number of sessions per
calendar year); how much work you
want to do, and how upset or impaired you currently are. Some people
come for a few months, and others for
a few years. When you come in we can discuss in more detail what is
going on for you and how long I think it
might take before you will reach your goals. Then again, sometimes
things can suddenly change for the better or
worse, and that obviously affects length of treatment as well.
